DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?

Two men confessed to me recently that in their core, they would like things to happen magically. Trying hard to make things happen and dealing with the frustrations along the way doesn’t  fit nicely into that ideal. The whole verb ‘ to do’, frequently becomes a burden to them, something horrible and frustrating within itself.

Both men listened with interest to my take on ‘ trying hard to make things happen’ and ‘ dealing with frustrations’ . My approach seems to have a certain appeal for them, although it still contains the suspicious verb ‘ to do’ .

I explained to them that I listen (more and more) to the signals indicating that I am not happy anymore with what I am doing. Whenever I become aware of those signals, I simply decide:” Do something else!”

It doesn’t have to be something drastic, like dropping my brush in the paint and leave it all instantly! I can calmly decide that it about time to do something else and look into how I can do that.

It can be anything from washing my hands, stretching my legs, have a chat ( and come back to the task) to looking into how I can stop doing what I was doing completely for that day.

Just acknowledging the fact that it doesn’t feel right anymore to continue doing what I was doing and actively looking into how I can step away from it in a satisfying way, is enough to keep a happy mood.

“ But then the work doesn’t get done?!”
Interestingly enough.. I get more work done if I follow this principle then if I decide to ‘ try to make something happen’  despite the fact that it all goes wrong and I am not enjoying it at all.

Saying ‘ I want to do something else now’ usually does not mean that I do nothing at all, unless I really feel I need to rest. It simply means that I direct my attention to something else and I achieve something in that activity: that gets done and I feel happy doing it.

“ But you can’t leave people waiting if you are working for somebody else?!”
Interestingly enough.... If I am aware that things start to go wrong and I can’t laugh about it and can’t happily improvise my way through and  I get tensed...
a) most people don’t enjoy being around me in that state..
b) most people are very willing to engage in a dialogue on how it can be done, otherwise. Some other time, some other place, by somebody else......
c) many things are less urgent then they seem at first sight

One of the man pointed out to me that it is difficult for a man to ‘ give in’ , to show a ‘ weakness’ .

Personally, I don’t think this approach has anything to do with giving in or being weak.  I find it empowering, for both me and the people I do something for to voice calmly and confidently  that better results can be achieved by ‘ doing something else’ .

It is even magical, at times, how things seem to fall in place.

I have to put in less effort ( read: hard unsatisfying frustrating work) in achieving things and with a smile on my face, enjoying what I do, I achieve even more!

So yes, I do believe in magic.. but I also believe that magic finds me on my actions a.k.a.  the creative magical wonderful verb ‘ to do’ .