CHEERFULLY GIVING

It had been a wonderful day with a visit to the beach. I had been reading a book in the sunshine and felt inspired with the texts about living with awareness in this Universe.

I particularly liked the chapter with the recommendation to give to others what you want most for yourself. Send = receive wrapped in words that make so much sense on paper….…

It turned out to be time for some practise in my own next corner of the Universe: a supermarket in the Algarve, where we wanted to buy a few missing things: coffee, jam, chocolate and milk.

Completely focussed on my goal, I walked purposeful  from the entrance, through the hall towards the stile gate. I thanked the lady asking my attention for collection for charity in a friendly, yet decisive way.  I was on a distinct mission.

The lady approached Richard behind me as well if he wanted to buy some food to donate to charity. Happily, he accepted the designated plastic bag and decided that a shopping basket would be in order.

While he was selecting rice and pastas, I noticed an enormous storm rising within me.

This was the inner dialogue I had with myself, standing between two huge supermarket freezers:

B:” He, what is going on here?”

A:” Donating things to charity is very recommendable if you want to live aware and free. “

B:” Yep, nice .. however… I don’t want it.”

A:” Holding on to something ( like money) from a fearful thought that you don’t have enough of it is asking for trouble!  Send = receive…. If you send the message that you are lacking something, than that is what you get…. Too little of that something!”

B:” Nice theory.  You forget to mention that you have got to mean it too! If you only do it because it is theoretically so recommendable… than it doesn’t count!!!!!”

A:” So true.. so…. Make sure you mean it! Give cheerfully!”

B:” Come on… cheerfully!!! The only thing that is cheerful here at the moment is a raging storm. I want to leave this place cheerfully and leave it all cheerfully behind me!”

The whole conversation took about  10 minutes, so A and B repeated their points of view several times with more and more power.  One part of me was embracing  the idea of giving cheerfully and the other one wanted was absolutely not cheerful about this giving event.  

I pulled the plug on the debate, by the time I really had enough of that.  For now, I solved the issue temporarily by saying that it was Richards’s cheerfully made transaction, not mine.  Pay and go.. and forget about it all.   

Not that I think it really works like this in this very educational Universe;-), but at least it got me moving again.

Richard had filled the shopping basket and was ready to pay. He asked me if I wanted to select some chocolate,  but I said that I had had enough now of the shopping experience and wanted to leave.  

The supermarket had two types of cash registers: with staff and self service.  Self service seemed to Richard the best way to go, the others had very long ques.

Hmmmm…. With a cashier you can pay deaf and blind. Self service permits you to see each and every item scanned and priced. On top of all this the price was read out loud too.

Everything I didn’t want to know about, was presented to me on al senses in a significantly slow way: quantities and prices.

Richard obviously noticed that my energy and mood had dropped. I told him that I had to deal with something within myself and that I would fill him in on the details later, if needs be.

During the course of the evening, the issue stayed with me in the back of my mind. What was the essence of the problem here? How could I solve this issue in a well-considered way? What could I learn from this? Why was this causing such an inner storm?

Yes, it hadn’t been me taking the initiative for a donation. And yes, the amount of consultation in this process had been minimal and indeed, I still have some faith to gain concerning money flows, to mention a few ripples I can identify on the surface. But I also know that usually I am able to react more balanced on this type of challenges nowadays.  So, what is the difference here?

As often before, the solution came the next morning.

I told Richard about what was still on my mind in a puzzling struggle. I was squeezing the last bit of joy out of this learning process, by giving myself an extra hard time over it. I labelled myself as ‘worthless’ , because of not being able to give cheerfully and that isn’t a very encouraging thing to do!

Richard took it a lot lighter and confessed with a friendly smile that he instantly knew that I was dealing with something important,  when I denied myself chocolate!

That filled the gap of the missing link in me.  Suddenly I saw why my inner compass somewhere between rice and pasta had lost track. I knew why  I had been presented with al the fine details of number and prices of articles.  I had asked the question what I could learn from this seemingly conflict and all that was part of the answer! ( send = receive)

What was it that I refused to see? The value? Was it too expensive?  It was nothing compared to what we had spend earlier on groceries on the market.  

Suddenly it struck me, by the time I switched my mental position. It sure had to do with value, but in a reversed way.

Do rice and pasta represent for me ‘ the good life’ ?  Sure, I appreciate them as nice ingredients for good meals. But if I was to choose a product in the supermarket that really expresses the joy of a good life .... then I would treat myself to a nice piece of chocolate.

There I approached the eye of the storm that was charging this issue so much. I had not contributed with something that I would choose for myself as valuable, as something I highly appreciate!

Understanding this, suddenly solved the seemingly conflict. A knew a part of my truth and B also had a point and although I thought they were opposites... there was a way to unite them!

I proposed to Richard to buy what I had denied myself, but then double. One box of chocolates for us and one to donate.

This resolution could be executed the same afternoon. We stopped at Lidl’s for something and again saw some people at the entrance collecting for charity.

This time cheerfully, we donated chocolate and coffee.

Is the story told now? Maybe….

However, on arrival at our house sitting job, we found  a specially for us richly filled fridge and cupboard with all sorts of nice products.

Coincidence…? In any case.... we are very pleased with this gift for us!

RECEIVING GARDENING INSPIRATION

Here I am, since a few days, in the Algarve in Portugal, living my new life as a nomad. In exchange for a roof over our head, Richard and I are helping somebody a few hours a day with some DIY and gardening tasks.

This morning, I was asked to cut back some stems of a papyrus plant, the ones  overgrowing the path. When I brought the cuttings to the chickens, because they seem to like it, I could hardly pass another papyrus plant on my way with the wheel barrow. I decided that this one could do with some attention as well. Parts of it were dry and brown, rather than lush and green.

It turned out to be an interesting gardening experience.

Is started with cutting back on one side whatever was over the path, green or brown. For some reason, I felt the whole experience was like cutting a person’s hair. To play with that thought, I made a remark in my mind to the customer, that I was intending to create a nice haircut, so he would look al fresh and nice again and could create healthy new growth.

A slightly different approach for removing the dead stems from the plant occurred to me and I decided to try it. I pulled on the end of one, and the stem came out completely. So, rather than cutting it away ( and leaving the bottom end), I could remove easily everything. It was less effort than bending down and squeeze the secateurs and there was no damage to the living stems of the plant.

I removed 3 or 4 wheelbarrows full of dead plant material  ( yes, it is a huge plant). It struck me that this plant wasn’t as healthy looking as the one I had cut back earlier, in another part of the garden. I wondered why this one seemed to be struggling.

During the work, I became aware of the answer to that question. This part of the garden wasn’t linked to the irrigation system, so it was probably lacking water.  Furthermore, I felt strongly that it was also lacking food.

Part of the task was to fill in two holes created by the dog. I just happened to know where the pile of manure was, so I decided to feed the plant and gave it a lot of water too.

3 Hours later, the customer had a wonderful haircut and a good treatment for new growth. I was quite pleased with it.

You may call me mad. ( Although I call myself the opposite J (a) no-mad) but it felt a co-creation process. It wasn’t just me, cutting away vigorously in the garden. I felt guided in how to treat the plant in the best way. I was doing the task with full attention and sending out questions, on how to do it well, to encourage the new growth and do its beauty justice.

Send = receive , so the answers found me. And in paying attention, I picked them up too!

INSPIRATION OVER DINNER

Yesterday, whilst having dinner, I saw something on the wall behind Richard that struck me with inspiration.

When I mentioned it to Richard, he immediately said:” Please, make this a blog entry!”

This is what I told Richard:

“ The perceived wisdom among people with a spiritual interest is ‘ live now’ . So, rather than projecting that good things can happen to you in the future.... (when such and such has happened first) ....realize that you are creating that future right now, by the thoughts you have and the actions you take and the things you enjoy... right now. Be, right now, what you choose to be, sums it up quite nicely.”

I told Richard that a message on a post-it note from a brainstorm caught my attention:” What is the AIM?” I realised how these three capital letters could be read as follows.

“ I AM right in the middle of what I AIM for... the ‘ I’ , IS right in the middle of the letters that spell AM!”

A very nice example of the wisdom hidden in the English language J

WRITING

Despite the fact that it is not on this blog, I AM writing a lot!

I am working on a methof for self development that aims to give your live an extra impulse in the desired direction.
The method is seriously playful and you're in charge of the ammount of time and energy you invest in it.

Curious? Please let me know and I'd be happy to to tell you more about it.

CONSTRUCTIVE INSPIRATION

Saturday evening we started working on a project for a friend, who is transforming her restaurant into a Jamaican restaurant.

We gathered some materials from the barn to recycle and we bought a few extra things from the store.
Before going to bed, we played with it for about an hour to see how it could all result in the desired tropical beach hut roof construction: nice to look at, sturdy, using the materials we’ve got and transportable in the car.

We both fell asleep with questions on our minds about ‘ how can it be constructed, especially the triangle shaped parts of the construction’. In the morning, we shared our ideas on the matter. Richard spoke about an idea to create a certain type of bolds that would do the trick.
I found my inspiration in the world of scouts, who can build anything using rope to tie parts together.  A almost didn’t share this idea, thinking it would be ‘ too simple’ . But I decided to share it anyway, to have it as an option available on the table.

Whilst Richard was having a shower, I had the topic loosely in my mind.

I found myself ‘ looking’  at an object in the room. I wasn’t watching it, it was merely that It happened to be in the direction where my eyes where gazing. It was the  type of object  that normally doesn’t catch my attention in the morning... a small drying frame for socks and underwear.

I could have just turned my head. I could have decided to make myself a cup of tea. Instead, I wondered: ”Why am I looking at this object?” Immediately the ‘ funny’ thought crossed my mind that it could hold the inspiration for the beach hut roof construction. Could the construction be done with clothes-pegs? That would be unusual! ( but why not?).

I looked with some more attention and interest to the drying frame and I let my thoughts play with the whole thing. In the back of my head I related it to the triangle shapes in the construction of the beach hut.

On the flow of tensionless taking this essence of this small construction in.... it  suddenly struck me how this plastic construction was made of a square solid base and suspended by ‘ ropes’ , creating precisely the type of triangle shapes we want to construct for the beach hut roof. A construction we also had in mind to suspend from the ceiling!

Eureka!

I caught Richard before he could have dried himself of, to tell him enthusiastically that inspiration had struck me. When I explained the idea, he got enthusiastic and we started executing this idea together.

We had so much fun doing it! And the whole process of creation was such a wonderful example of how the Law of Attraction ( send = receive) works in everyday life:

• We expressed our heartfelt desire to find solutions.
• I shared my suggestions.
• Richard shares his suggestions.
• The Universe shared suggestions with us, through our awareness.

What a beautiful example of working all together!

We had so much fun creating and we are very pleased with the result so far ( being precisely what we desired) nice to look at, sturdy, using the materials we’ve got and transportable in the car.

We took it apart, we took it with us to the restaurant and helped with some plastering and painting work there. Once the dining room is ready to be decorated, we will suspend  the construction and finish it on site.

Inspiration in action, such fun!  

CAN I ASK FOR WHAT I WANT?

It’s fascinating how something simple can be perceived as so difficult! Asking for something I want, for example, is among the most difficult challenges in my brain configuration. But, I have decided that brain configurations are not written in stone and even stone can be chopped, chiselled, filed and polished!

On Sunday, we went to a party where a band was playing. Everybody was asked to bring some food. With our bowl of rice-salad and filled tomatos, we entered the party hall. We were expecting the French way, where everybody put his contribution on a large table and everybody then choosing from the table what to have.

In this case, the mainly English participants, had dividing themselves up in small scattered groups and ate basically their own brought food and people talked mainly to the people they already knew.

After having eaten our meal, offering some of it to our neighbours at the table, the band started to play music. We had found a new spot to stand, where we could see the band and listen to them.

I became aware that on the table on my right hand side was a beautiful enormous half eaten chocolate cake. During the course of three songs, I developed an appetite for chocolate and it became the subject of a lot of inner dialogue.

I would be very happy with the opportunity to taste a piece of it... BUT.... and then an interesting list of blockages began:

• " People don’t seem to share their food tonight"
• " I don’t know these people, they don’t know me"
• " Everybody is listening to the band now... no  time for ‘ food’"
• " If I was to ask (very  hypothetically and highly unlikely) how to get their attention over the volume of the music?"
• "It’s in a closed circle of people... I don’ t know who’s cake it is"
• " I am Dutch ( a breed that is usually considered to be far too direct) , they are English.. what will ‘people’  think?" 

In the next two songs, I saw that two pieces were handed over to other English people at another table. And my appetite grew.

I thought about my list of ‘ buts’ and decided that there was little to lose, if I went to ask for a piece.

At the moment, I had no chocolate cake and the worst thing that could happen was that they would say no. The end result would be that I had no cake.. no different to the current situation.

I don’t know them, indeed, changes are that I will never see them again. So even if they think that I make a ‘ faux pas’ (typically Dutch J ), no relationship gets permanently damaged.

So, I decided to give it a go and with a big smile I went into the circle of people saying how attractive the cake looked and if there was any change on having a piece to taste it.

Within one minute, I could tell from personal experience that the cake tasted as good as it looked!

I didn’t only get what I desired: a satisfied tummy and some chocolate cake crumbs as residue..
I also chiselled a fragment of the  stone where it said that asking for something you want is a bad thing. Looking at the stone dust I created satisfied me even more.

Send = receive J

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?

Two men confessed to me recently that in their core, they would like things to happen magically. Trying hard to make things happen and dealing with the frustrations along the way doesn’t  fit nicely into that ideal. The whole verb ‘ to do’, frequently becomes a burden to them, something horrible and frustrating within itself.

Both men listened with interest to my take on ‘ trying hard to make things happen’ and ‘ dealing with frustrations’ . My approach seems to have a certain appeal for them, although it still contains the suspicious verb ‘ to do’ .

I explained to them that I listen (more and more) to the signals indicating that I am not happy anymore with what I am doing. Whenever I become aware of those signals, I simply decide:” Do something else!”

It doesn’t have to be something drastic, like dropping my brush in the paint and leave it all instantly! I can calmly decide that it about time to do something else and look into how I can do that.

It can be anything from washing my hands, stretching my legs, have a chat ( and come back to the task) to looking into how I can stop doing what I was doing completely for that day.

Just acknowledging the fact that it doesn’t feel right anymore to continue doing what I was doing and actively looking into how I can step away from it in a satisfying way, is enough to keep a happy mood.

“ But then the work doesn’t get done?!”
Interestingly enough.. I get more work done if I follow this principle then if I decide to ‘ try to make something happen’  despite the fact that it all goes wrong and I am not enjoying it at all.

Saying ‘ I want to do something else now’ usually does not mean that I do nothing at all, unless I really feel I need to rest. It simply means that I direct my attention to something else and I achieve something in that activity: that gets done and I feel happy doing it.

“ But you can’t leave people waiting if you are working for somebody else?!”
Interestingly enough.... If I am aware that things start to go wrong and I can’t laugh about it and can’t happily improvise my way through and  I get tensed...
a) most people don’t enjoy being around me in that state..
b) most people are very willing to engage in a dialogue on how it can be done, otherwise. Some other time, some other place, by somebody else......
c) many things are less urgent then they seem at first sight

One of the man pointed out to me that it is difficult for a man to ‘ give in’ , to show a ‘ weakness’ .

Personally, I don’t think this approach has anything to do with giving in or being weak.  I find it empowering, for both me and the people I do something for to voice calmly and confidently  that better results can be achieved by ‘ doing something else’ .

It is even magical, at times, how things seem to fall in place.

I have to put in less effort ( read: hard unsatisfying frustrating work) in achieving things and with a smile on my face, enjoying what I do, I achieve even more!

So yes, I do believe in magic.. but I also believe that magic finds me on my actions a.k.a.  the creative magical wonderful verb ‘ to do’ .