WY PEOPLE SABOTAGE HAPPINESS II/3

In the previous blog entry, I told two stories that made me wonder about the question ”Why do people sometimes deliberately sabotage their own happiness?”

My thoughts are going in two directions:

One: They don’t!

There is a lesson I remember from my education in being a teacher in ‘human interactions’. It says:”People always perform the best behaviour they have got in store.”
As a student, I was surprised by this statement, being faced in classrooms with adolescents whose behaviour I wouldn’t always qualify as ‘wonderful’.

But the statement isn’t implying that the public has to ‘like’ the behaviour as such. I know now that it says that the acting person is doing his utmost best, to get what he needs. Because it is something he really needs, he will do the best he can, to achieve it.

Looking with those ‘kind eyes’ to the behaviour of that person, helps to reach out. At least, if you feel there is actually a common goal you are both aiming for... but for now, you’re not hitting ‘bulls-eye’ yet. ’

Two: They do!

So, the best behaviour that is in store, IS counterproductive, involuntary sabotaging happiness! How?

My attention got hooked on the part where I heard that the chosen strategy was to give ‘distinct signs’ to improve the situation.

To the sender, those were ‘obvious signs’ , put out there to be noticed! And yes, the signs as such were hard to miss: elephant size fonts, screaming colours, flashlights and squeaky noises.

Can it be that the way she embellished her signs, was a bit distracting the audience from the core-message? To such a degree even, that the core-message got completely lost? And instead of harmony,  that is achieved with producing pure sounds, misunderstanding wagged its separating tail.

Send ‘signals’, out of tune with the core-message and see what happens.....
Send ’clear messages that harmonise with the distinct needs’ and see what happens.....
Send = receive......

Still, the question remains unanswered:”What makes people chose the out-of-tune-strategy?”

Thank you, dear friends, for sharing your story with me, giving me food for thought!

To be continued in part III......
Read part I