I took a few deep breaths of re-energizing fresh air and I needed it.
We walked back to the car, after having a cup of tea
with two of Richard’s friends, Peter and Nicole.
Driving home, I shared with Richard my thoughts and
feelings on the visit. He subscribed to my description:”That was all very
awkward.”
It wasn’t just me, feeling ‘heavy’ and ‘drained’.
I replayed the visit in my mind, looking for clues in
the things that I’ve noticed.
I saw myself meeting the couple in the hallway. I
noticed how we were positioned around the table, later.
I looked into the subjects of the conversation and how
it was to me a chain of worries, drama, illness, disasters, death, troubles and other things that went wrong.
I remembered making a few contributions to the
conversation, myself, hoping to bend it in a more cheerful direction. I also
made an attempts to start a conversation with Peter, since we both were not
really part of the conversation between Richard and Nicole, on the other side
of the table.
But given the non-verbal responses on my attempts, I
felt that it would be a better idea to study the birds and the beautiful skies.
I ended up waiting for it all to be over- as soon as possible.
It was obvious that I hadn’t enjoyed the visit as a
‘good thing’.
My initial response was to ‘just forget about it all’
and I also mentioned to Richard that I wouldn’t be interested in having more of
this.
So, instead of just ‘rejecting’ it, I started to
wonder how I could embrace the events of this afternoon as a gift; the gift of
a learning experience! I started to
analyze it, with the Law of Attraction in mind and another set of guidelines
that I value in that respect.
It was obvious, that the awkwardness had to do with
‘Richard being with ‘the other woman’’.
It was also clear that all four of us felt ‘awkward’,
but nobody felt safe enough to just say anything about it.
I think everybody around that table was in the
position of:”I don’t feel at ease to share my true feelings openly with
you..... “
Send = receive......the result was accordingly.
But, in hindsight, knowing that people broadcast
messages about their real needs anyway, I
listened more carefully. In’ play-back mode’, I now used my ‘kind ears’, paying attention to Nicole’s messages from the heart, diving under the
cover of the fear to share it openly.
Once I did that,
I could hear that she was actually broadcasting a message of loving
feelings.
Obviously, Nicole has warm and loyal feelings for
Richard’s former partner. And she was probably not sure where those feelings
could fit in, in the whole dynamics, in the presence of me, the new partner.
In doubting these loving feelings could have a
rightful place in the conversation, nothing seemed to be positively in place.
The interesting question I asked myself then,
was:”What ‘the other woman’ and Richard can do differently in the future, when having
conversations with friends of him and his former partner.”
I shared my thoughts on the matter with Richard and we
exchanged some ideas in which direction to look for ‘changing what we send, in
order to receive something we enjoy”.
To be continued ..... in part II
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